Dropping out of the "Stick Figure School of Art"

Physical description is an essential way to put people on the page, to transform them from sources ("Goldilocks, 12, of 2200 Sylvan Way") into characters. Consider this example from yesterday's New York Times Magazine profile of an artist. Instead of referring to her as "Sculptor Kiki Smith, 52, Times arts critic Michael Kimmelman, provided readers with a detailed physical description that not only made it possible to see, but also understand her.

At 52, Smith has a thick halo of gray hair and porcelain skin liberally tattooed with turquoise rings and stars. They make rows on her fingers, arms and legs. She also wears strings of necklaces and bracelets stacked atop one another. You can hear when she’s coming because her jewelry jingles. She looks a little like the woman who runs the local candle shop. Her hands constantly fiddle: she’s always drawing or making things out of clay or whatever. Partly, it’s a way to distract her gaze. Mostly, for her, making art is like breathing.

Physical descriptions are often the most challenging task for newspaper writers. Putting people on the page requires rigorous reporting. It’s hard work, especially for reporters who are used to seeing people not as rounded characters, but as sources or subjects identified merely by title or status (official, voter, victim, criminal, survivor, etc.) I confess I sometimes shy away for fear of offending a source with an insensitive observation, or questioning my right to make subjective opinions about a person. The stick figure approach is less risky than presenting a rounded mini-portrait. And sometimes we just can’t find the words.

But the excuse that "the photographs" show the reader what she looks like doesn't fly. "My task," said novelist Joseph Conrad, "which I am trying to achieve, is -- by the power of the written word -- to make you hear, to make you feel. It is, before all, to make you see. (my emphasis added. cs) That -- and no more. And it is everything. If I succeed, you shall find there according to your deserts: encouragement, consolation, fear, charm -- all you demand -- and, perhaps, also that glimpse of truth for which you have forgotten to ask."

It takes a little more effort to zero in on the physical attributes that distinguish one person from another, but that’s one of the writer’s gifts that makes storytelling such a special experience.

• First you must report, collecting an overabundance of concrete details.
• The next step is focus. Sum up the subject's appearce, the single dominant impression, in one word.
• Then select the details that support that theme.
• Outline the paragraph, relying on the 3-2-1 structure, that moves, in reverse order, from details to meaning.
• Freewrite a description, writing or typing as quickly as possible.
• Print out what you write. Mark up the draft with additions, cuts, shifts in order.
• Return to the screen and make the changes.
• Repeat as necessary.

And don't forget the power of "modeling lessons," that is, copying out physical descriptions that impress you (Plagiarism alert: Remember to write the author's name and the source of the description at the top: "by Michael Kimmelman, "The Intutitonist," The New York Times Magazine, Nov. 6, 2006, http://www.nytimes.com/2006/11/05/magazine/05kiki.html)

When something strikes you, stop, hit the CAPS LOCKS key and record your observation.

"You can hear when she’s coming because her jewelry jingles." KIMMELMAN DOESN'T LIMIT THE SENSORY DETAILS. HERE HE USES SOUND. INTERESTING.

Or:
"She looks a little like the woman who runs the local candle shop."  NOW HE RELIES ON A SIMILE. IS THAT  GOOD? I MEAN WHAT ABOUT READERS WHO HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A CANDLE SHOP? WONDER HOW HE GOT PAST THE EDITORS WITH THAT ONE? MAYBE YOU CAN PUSH THE ELEMENT THAT WAY.

Make us see.

Comments

[Marcio Simoes]

The reporter may as well ask the subject: How would you describe yourself, your appearance, your clothes, your body, your eyes, your voice? Which impression your figure causes on people? Which trait best represents you? Which trait mislead other people about you? Often the answer is honest and surprising, and can be freely used in the story.

[Nicholas]

Mr. Scanlan,
I love your blogs. I followed your links to previous posts, and previous posts' links to posts written before that. It's a maze trying to find my way back to your original blog. Thirty minutes later, here I am, full of new insights from a veteran writer.

On descriptive writing and observation, I like Marcio's idea of asking someone how they would describe him or herself. I recently wrote an article about a movie being filmed in the little town in which I recently found a job. The two main characters were townsfolk. Nothing flashy, no experience in acting other than an extra spot in Universal Soldier. The female character, wife and abusive lover of her partner Jack, is very large. To best describe the plot of the movie – basically how Jack hates his wife and, in a psychotic dream state, kills her 50 times – I had to provide a physical description. For Jack it was easy. He was a hippie from Eugene, Ore., where I went to college. The scraggly beard, dirt-stained pants and oil-spotted T-shirt all fit well with the focus of the film. His wife, though, who is his real-life girlfriend, was a very large woman. I ended up calling her overweight, which was a weak description, thrown in between more eye-catching phrases so to not draw too much attention. And I still felt bad. She's a real person, she's not a Hollywood actress. She's a local woman whom tons of people know. Even worse, there aren't tons of people in this place. The small-town know-everybody syndrome is rampant.
In a Hollywood film, reporters wouldn't have an issue with describing how grotesque is a character. But should they? Or should I avoid calling someone fat in print even when it colors the canvas of the article and helps explain, in this case, her husbands extreme unhappiness?

[AF]

The 3-2-1 structure - is there a link to this? I'd like to read more about it.

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